the Abbot

I posted on the playoffs just before they started, exactly one week ago. Since then, most of my predicted winners have gone badly wrong (hello, Canucks, Penguins, Wings) and almost every game has been marred by headshots, stickwork, fights, blind-side hits, and the kind of crap that the NHL vows it’s trying to eliminate.

Amid all the mayhem, there’s been some good hockey played by some great players. In no particular order: Dustin Brown and Jonathan Quick for LA, Claude Giroux for Philly, and Henrik Lundquist for NY Rangers are early standouts.

Now, with NHL refs awakening from a deep week-long sleep (and handing out not just penalties but misconducts in Philadelphia tonight), the Penguins have also finally roused themselves and just now closed out a game in which they scored 10 – TEN – goals to Philly’s 3 for a huge do-or-die victory that sends the series back to Pittsburgh with the Pens now down 3-1.

Crazy stuff, with lots to come.

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Let’s forget for a moment that the Stanley Cup finals (and not just Round 1) should now, in mid-April, be starting. Let’s ignore the fact that were it not for the untrammelled greed of the NHL, the world’s longest pro sport season would be righteously trimmed by 25%…

Let’s just think about the hockey – because it’s now, with the hapless Leafs, the most-boring-team-ever Flames, the lunatic-at-the-helm Islanders, and other crap teams finally sidelined, that hockey worth watching begins at last.

Here, on the eve of the 2012 Stanley Cup playoffs, are BPs bold predictions for Round 1.

Eastern Conference

New York Rangers (1) v Ottawa Senators (8): This one may not be as much of a laugher as it looks on paper. The Rangers’ best player has been goalie Lundquist, and he hasn’t been that good lately. Also, dating back to the Ratelle-Park-Gilbert-Giacomin 1970s, the franchise has a history of doing pretty well in the regular season and tanking when the going gets tough. Guys like Brad Richards may deliver, but I’m not sure about Gaborik, Prust, et al. On the other hand, the Sens are past their best-before date, I think, and also have a nasty habit of vanishing in tough situations. I’ll say NYR in 6.

Boston Bruins (2) v Washington Capitals (7): This one will be a laugher. The Caps are fatally flawed. If Boston can bring even half of their last-April’s will to win, they’ll take it in 5 games. Ovie may score some meaningless goals, but he’s going to have to be traded – to Boston, where he’ll be Zee’s whipping boy and not the captain – to regain his 2007 form. Semin, Green, and the other Caps will wilt in the face of Chara, Marchand, Lucic, and the boys.

Florida Panthers (3) v New Jersey Devils (6): Who cares? Whichever team comes out of this underwhelming series will get creamed by whoever they play next. Booor-rrring. I only hope it doesn’t go on long enough that we have to watch any of it.

Pittsburgh Penguins (2) v Philadelphia Flyers (5): This should be the hottest series of the entire playoffs, unless the Pens wind up against the Canucks in the final. Featuring the best players in the game right now – Malkin, Crosby, Neal, Staal, Letang and Fleury over here, Giroux, Briere, Voracek, Jagr over there – plus some of the er, truculence twits like Brian Burke get misty-eyed over (Asham, Engelland, Vitale, Hartnell, Simmonds, Rinaldo), the series matches up two teams, fan bases, and cities that actively dislike each other. But talent will win out here – Penguins in 6 games.

Crosby v Philly stickwork - the series to watch

Western Conference

Vancouver Canucks (1) v Los Angeles Kings (8): I like Doughty a lot. Kopitar’s talented, and Quick can stop a puck. But I’ll take the Canucks in 6. Daniel Sedin can use the series to get healthy again, and Luongo can get one or two stinking playoff games out of his system.

St Louis Blues (2) v San Jose Sharks (7): Don’t know much about the Blues. But I do know that the Sharks need to be blown out of the water and rebuilt from the ground up. Like a Greek tragic hero, the team is fatally flawed and totally unable to win when it matters. Why would anyone bet on a group led by Thornton, Marleau, et al – yes, decent guys and decent players – when the selfsame group has failed repeatedly over the years and is now no different, except for being one year older? The Blues could resurrect Red Berenson, the Plager brothers, Jimmy Roberts, and Noel Picard and still win. With the inexperienced team they’ve got, they’ll squeak by in 7.

Phoenix Coyotes (3) v Chicago Black Hawks (6): Hard to believe that the Hawks have gone from Stanley Cup champs two years ago – and a very strong team at that time – to this. Blame it on the salary cap and injuries… The Coyotes, meanwhile, are not an interesting team to watch, and I hope they don’t succeed here. But this whole series comes down to whether Jonathan Toews’ concussion has cleared up. If he’s good to go, the Hawks win it in 6. If he’s not…Hawks in 7. I hope.

Nashville Predators (4) v Detroit Red Wings (5): Detroit will win this series in 5 games. The Wings have some of the best players in the world and a collective truckload of playoff experience. Nashville has a great goalie and some speedy forecheckers. Ye gods, why is it that the West has so many teams that chip and chase as a means to winning games? The scourge must be stopped. Here’s hoping Datsyuk, Zetterberg, Franzen, Lidstrom and the boys can stay healthy long enough to vanquish the heathens. The “Predators”…even their name is unoriginal.

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If you’re a hockey fan in Toronto, April really is the cruelest month. Spring is here, and another hockey season has limped to the finish line for the woeful Maple Leafs.

As other teams (including Florida, Nashville, Ottawa, & Phoenix) get ready for the playoffs, Toronto will conduct an autopsy on the year.

Brian Burke will counsel patience and talk about how well the Marlies have done. Randy Carlyle will say that training camp starts now. James Reimer will wax philosophical, smiling that odd smile. Phil Kessel will shake his head as he’s done so much lately, and mutter again how he just doesn’t understand what happened.

At least he’s honest.

What will fans do? And what do they want to happen next? Tell us…

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